Copyright 1992 David Braun & Michael McAleese
David_Braun@panam.wimsey.bc.ca & mmcalees@csr.uvic.ca
A.K.A. "Those Dudes"

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         Sauramud's Advice Column for Young Wizardlings   Issue 9
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Dear Readers,

     Whereas I do not normally make it a policy of printing editorial
commentary from my readers I have received innumerable letters ever since
my last column in which I complained about the creation of _weird_ magic
items (such as a heart-eating scarab and brain devouring tiara).  Most are
unsuitable for publication!  This alone answers my rhetorical question
about where these items come from.  It seems that in spite of the minimum
intelligence requirements there are some really STUPID wizards out there.
This does not bode well for our noble profession.
     This column is a little bigger than usual because I wish to answer all
the remaining questions before the academic ranks swell with new legions of
wizardlings with MORE problems to address at ol' Sauramud.  With quill in
hand and a bottle of rot-gut (for purely medicinal purposes - it's one of
those wizardly things) I present you this latest batch of questions.
     One last point before I continue; it seems that some of the questions
slated for this column may have been pilfered by hobbit influences in the
postal service.  If you had an outstanding question and do not see it in
this column then please resubmit it.

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Dear Sauramud,

     In your advice column #8 you asked who made all of those bad magic
items that poison you or eat your heart out or worse.  I'm surprised you
don't know.  I can only assume you are such a masterful craftsman that you
have never had a magic item not turn out the way you intended it.  Others,
however, have not been so fortunate.  These items are created when a wizard
either uses the wrong materials or somehow botches the enchantments.
     Cheap materials are to be avoided at all costs because they are prone
to have a weak spot which will distort when the enchantments are placed
within.  The resulting distortion in the magical field can cause many
undesireable effects.  Another problem is excessive use of silver and gold
by wizards who want to sell their magic items.  Silver and gold make the
items look good, to be sure, but they are not strong enough for all
enchantments and suffer from distortion or are subject to damage after
enchantment.  Adamantite is the metal of choice for wizard craftsmen
because it looks good, wears well, and is strong, yet light.  For wood
items redwood and oak work well and pine is to be avoided.  I prefer wool
for capes.
     The primary cause of botched enchantments is the interruption.  It is
absolutely essential that one have some servants who will see that you are
not interrupted.  I personally am able to tune out knocks on doors and
voices when conjuring but some fools actually will try to touch the item
you are working on!  Oh, sure, they'll probably be killed or maimed but
that is small consolation when your beautiful item is damaged.
     Responsible wizards immediately destroy items which turn out harmful.
A few, however, throw them out with the trash where they can be picked up
by any old scavenger and eventually find their way into the hands of some
unsuspecting adventurer.

Sincerely,
Fyrand Forget

Dear Fyrand Forget

     I can't understand a wizard who would sit down to make a magic item
(in the centre of the village square judging by the frequency with which
these mages seem to be interrupted), invest thousands of hours and
thousands of gold, then skimp on the quality of the ingredients.  I can
just picture the scenario (scene shimmers as Sauramud launches into a
theatrical dream sequence);

Wizard - (holding up shapeless, quivering bit) This gold dragon's gizzard
looks a little gamey.  Is it still good?

Conniving, cheapo shop keeper - Oh yes!  Assuredly!  I stock only the
finest, freshest ingredients in Spell-Components-R-Us Discount Superstore.

Wizard - (taking sudden leave of every lesson he ever learned in the
College Magi) Well it _is_ half price, an important consideration when
crafting three thousand gold worth of wand.  Besides, if I save thirty gold 
on the ingredients I could have the pewter wand gold plated to make it look 
nicer once it's enchanted...

     Since you wrote in an editorial context and didn't ask for any advice
I am going to give it anyway just to be annoying.  Don't take any wooden
copper pieces and never trust a monk with your healing elixirs.

---

Dearest Sauramud,

     In your last column you complain rather voraciously against magi who
invent amusing party favors like the heart eating scarab.  I must strongly
object to the tone of your comments, suggesting that the blood, sweat and
tears necessary to design and implement these devices is wasted effort.
Why do we do it?  Well there are those bills to pay.  If I'm hired to
invent traps and nasty little suprises for the party that DOES end up
plundering my bosses castle its not MY fault what happens!  Just the other
day I was having coffee at the Baron's place (dicussing his investment in
the Dirty Tricks Divsion) when there was this tremendous howl from the
treasury.  The Baron excalaimed 'WHAT WAS THAT!' to which I replied, 'Your
tax gp's hard at work sir, someone must have found my 'Necco Wafers of
Insanity'.' Do you know how much Necco Wafers COST around here!?  I also
found it personally amusing when the orcs plundered the Armoury.  They
instantly started to try stuff on, especially those nice shiny helmets!
OOPS!  Nice Shiny Helmets of Amnesia!  Or what about the Sword Of Enuresis?
You know, bed wetting?  I could go on and on...so I will!  Theres also the

(Sauramud:  You didn't need to explain that last one - I DO have an
intelligence of 17+.  I am VERY familiar with enuresis from my years
travelling with a certain paladin.)

Potion of Hill Giant Strength/Drain Intellegince To Slack Jawed Drooling
Idiot.  Spear of Uncontrollable Itching In The Middle Of My Back And
Epileptic Seziures (damn this itch!  I'll just use this spear..ARRGGHH!).
How about the Cloak of Incredible Vanity (damn I'm good, what are you
looking at?  Me?  I understand.).  Or the Leather Pants of Attract
Body Crabs?  Maybe Cursed Unremovable Ring Of Uncontrollable and
Random Flatulance?  (The Baron's brother did NOT appreciate that one when
his fun loving brother (my boss) switched it for his wedding ring).  And
who could forget Helmet of Exploding Heads?  Or Sword of Cut Off My Own
Genitilia?  Or Bracelet Of Incontinence?  One of my favorites (that I
consider to be a personal work of genius) is the Ring Of Blindness And
Utter Terror Of The Dark.  A rather nasty one I thought up for the trolls
up the road (well, they DID live up the road) was Gold Piece Of Turn Bodily
Fluids to Nitric Acid.  I had one of the Rangers here who had it in for the
trolls (they ate his wife) scatter these gold pieces around the trolls
stomping grounds.  I thought they imploded quite nicely.  Then there...oh
Rats, lunch hour is over, back to work..rats, rats...hmmm...how about
Girdle Of Rats Eating There Way Out From The Inside Of Your Stomach?  I
amaze myself sometimes...

- Jack Palance
-'Sauron? I have bits of wizards like him in my stool'


Dear Raving Loony,

     You are one sick - I hesitate to use the word 'wizard' here - person.
I would not be surprised if you are the one responsible for those truly
awful Boots of Monkish Prancing that a friar friend of mine discovered
during one of our outings.  I find it hard to justify creating cheap prank
items when you could be creating items to help save the skin of your
average honest, overworked, underappreciated, constantly endangered because
he CAN'T WEAR ANY ARMOUR AND ONLY GETS 4 HIT POINTS AT FIRST LEVEL wizard.
How about creating a Club of Wizardly Appreciation with which the party
wizard can BEAT the big, sweaty, grunting fighters over the head when they
accuse him of being useless after he has cast his last spell?  How about
some Boots of Wizardly Escape which will allow a magicer to run away _real
fast_ from the army of slavering, wizard-eating nasties who have just offed
the rest of his party?  I can think of a myriad of USEFUL magic items that
would PAY a LOT MORE than a bevy of stupid prank items - and after all,
isn't that the bottom line in making such items?

---

Dear Sauramud,

     I have a problem which I hope you will be able to help me with.  It
has me very worried, and no other source of advice has been of any use.
     It all started about a month ago when I was doing some research in the
library at Cuomathen.  I was exploring one of the lesser used parts of the
library when I came across a rather ancient and little used door.
Curiosity got the better of me--the lock yielded to my Knock spell--and I
passed through into the room beyond.  There was something odd about the
room--I still can't put my finger on it exactly, but somehow it did not
seem to 'fit' properly.  The only object in the room was a carved oaken
stand bearing a large, handwritten book.
     Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it and read a few pages at
random.  What they contained I cannot tell you for I do not remember, but
they were terrible enough to send me screaming from the room and from the
library itself, vowing never to return.
     It is from that day that 'they' started to take an interest in me.  I
see 'them' peering at me from odd corners, yet when I look closer 'they'
are never there.  'They' speak to me in my dreams, but what 'they' tell me
is so horrible that when I awake I cannot remember what 'they' have said.
'They' have also started to take an interest in my companions, three of
whom have been mysteriously murdered in a manner too horrible to talk
about.  The rest of the party are starting to eye me warily, as though they
suspect me.
     Two nights ago a green scaly rash started to form on my chest and
back, and it has since started to spread along my arms.  I have tried Cure
spells and Exorcisms to no avail.  I even consulted the high priest of God
II, with results that were less than satisfactory.  He had me driven from
the temple, and has since left for foreign parts.
     I have returned to the library but cannot find the old door, no matter
how much I search.  It is as though it had never existed.

Help me Sauramud, you're my only hepe.

Desparate.


Dear Desparate (sic)

     What an interesting question.  I had the same problem locating the
door to my library after a night of insightful drinking in the nearby town.
As with your case it was as if the door had never existed.  I learned later
that this was because I had entered the wrong wizardly tower.  The owner
was not very amused to see me there when he got home, especially when he
discovered that I had somehow managed to locate his hidden liquor cabinet
and was making good with his best scotch.  I am pleased to say that we
managed to resolve matters in a very civilized fashion and are now fairly
good friends, swapping spell components and lending out familiars to one
another when the need arises.  This just goes to show you that there is no
problem so large that it can't be solved with a good scotch.
     I wouldn't sweat it about being driven from the temple, I got run out
of the church on more than one occasion.  A hefty tithe usually warms
relations again.  As to the rash I suggest you try one of those
moisturizing creams containing aloe.  A paladin whom I know swears by that
when his skin gets scaly after too many long days on the road.  He also
claims that it helps him keep his boyish looks and 17 charisma.  As to
'them' watching you I refer you back to my first paragraph about the
drinking.  I too have seen 'them' watching me on occasion, but in the
morning I just peel my face off the floor of my library and go about my
day.

---

Dear Sauramud,

     The other day I was travelling with a group of people (mostly
fighters, God's damage absorbers) when we were beset by a raiding party.  I
rapidly used up my allotment of spells, except for my pride and
joy--Nahal's Reckless Dweomer.  So I tossed it, and now the biggest and
strongest fighter hops over to me on his rabbit legs and throws me to the
ground every time I try to cast a spell.  It's getting VERY distracting.
What should I do?

Charles the Chaotic


Dear Charles,

     Every time he hops over to you look wistfully at his legs and
speculate on the amount of luck one of them would bring you if it was cut
off - presumably whilst the other slept - and hung around your neck.  If
this doesn't mollify him then accentuate the positive.  Tell him how lucky
he is to have the legs of a rabbit rather than, say, the head of a newt
(avoid telling him that he already has the brains of one).  Make him
realize that these legs are _better_ than his old ones in that they allow
him to literally LEAP to your defense while you are engaged in smiting your
foes with offensive magics.  
     Remember, fellow wizards, that you have the intelligence to turn these
minor problems into opportunities.  Mention casually that Nahal's Reckless
Dweomer is your last-ditch defense spell and that if everyone charged to
your aid in combat you would be much less likely to have to fire it off.
Keep telling him that you're working on a solution, so much so that you
need extra rest at night and can't possibly stand a watch, he'll have
to substitute for you.  The possibilites are endless.

---

Pledge-Brother Saramud,

     Egad Val-Harek here.  Glad to see you've also done well for yourself,
I've gained fame and a tower here in Sensak.  The problem at hand is that
I've fallen into the company of a party of "adventurers" who are more like
poster-children for the tactically-challenged.  There is no real unity, nor
is there a strong leader to keep them from accidentally killing themselves.
Naturally, I'd prefer not to assume the mantle of leadership because we
both know that it's decorated with concentric circles over the heart.  On
the other hand, if I walk away, they're going to die, and I don't want that
because it would sully my reputation.  Sure, I could direct their actions
subtly, but that's too much work.  Any suggestions?

Egad Val-Harek
Purple Mage of Sensak


Dear Egad,

     The mantle of leadership is not quite as hazardous as you might think.
There seems to be this misconception around that one must 'lead by action'
whereas I've always fallen into the 'lead by inaction' school.  You must
learn to dig in your heels and refuse to be moved until the party has a
coherent plan of action.  Holding your breath and stamping your feet is
often an effective medium to communicate your wishes to the fighters in the
party.  A good leader is one who knows when to say "NO!  NONONONONONO!!!"
As the party leader it might fall upon the wizard to say,
     "We are NOT going to attack those fifty trolls, and that's FINAL!"
Another benefit of assuming the mantle of leadership in the party is that
you get to do the talking in sticky situations.  There's nothing worse than
having the party meat-cleaver explaining an awkward circumstance to some
angry guardsmen who have the city's mobile ballista cranked up and pointed
at your poor wizardly midsection and the best he can come up with is,
     "Yup.  We killed the prince and his whole retinue alrighty!  Yuck
yuck!  Wouldn't have worked if the ol' wiz over there hadn't slept 'em all
first though."
     In such situations I advise you to have a special secret code set up
amongst the party to convey your commands.  In the situation above, my
usual code was a volly of magic missiles into the paladin's cranium to
express my displeasure.

---

Hi Sourmud, ol' chap!

     How yer doing?  Getting a li'l weak in the knees, thick around the
middle and sometimes forgetting your false teeth in the morning, I bet -
"It'f wery difficult caftin a fireball dif way ...".  Remember me?  It's
ol' Richard Charmyon III (Rich & Charming!) from the good ol' days at the
academy.  Still thinking of that gorgeous witch we both had our eyes (and
crystal balls) set on?  Well, that's life buddy - my looks bet your looks
even then.
     I could talk hours 'bout the ol' times but that's not the reason I'm
writing.  Ye see, I just found this cute "advisory column" of yours in the
Wizard's Meekly or whatsisname, and I thought to myself:  "Sourmud, the ol'
chappy isn't doing the worst job on this, but a REAL Magician like yourself
could give some class to that advisory business." So how 'bout you just
move over and let some younger blood (3 months, two days and 7 hours - and
showing it!) handle the job.  If you need something to do to fight of
senility, you could maybe help with some of the simpler paperwork.
     I'd really like to talk this all over at someplace during lunchtime,
but I positively HATE searching my food for ground glass and the like.  So
just tell me your answer - date of retirement, pension fund details, etc.
- in yer cute li'l column.

   On The Way Up


Dear OTWU,

     I can't _believe_ you're still alive!  I thought you got eaten by
kobolds your first time out.  Still as witty and charming as ever I see.
Do you still move your lips when studying your spell book?  Folks, perhaps
a bit of history is in order:  Back in my early days at the academy I and
a few of my fellow apprentices went out on a bit of a drinking binge
between terms and decided to play a harmless little prank on one of the
local bumpkins.  We located the most dull-witted farmhand we could find
(within reasonable walking distance) and convinced him that he had 'the
mark of the magi'.  We must have been pretty persuasive because he showed
up at the front door of the college the next day, clean shaven and eager to
become a 'real' wizard.  I'll spare you the gruesome details, suffice to
say he is the only person in college history who had to take
'Gesticulations 101' five times!  Just when it looked like he was going to
become the first wizard ever to retire without finishing his education a
party came along who was desperate (and poor) enough to pick up the first
facsimile of a wizard they laid eyes on for a kobold-swatting expedition.
That's the last we'd heard from him until now.  Given the fact that his
letter was written in crayon and delivered by a kobold I'd say he's a big
wheel in the northern kobold communities, probably sold out his party 
for a few copper to become the "Great Wizard of the Kobolds" that we've
heard so little about.  Come to think of it, if you want to look powerful
hanging around with kobolds will do it.  Sure, the average kobold is 
tougher than a beginning wizard, but there's that awesome "Push" spell 
ol' Charmyn of the Kobolds is packing.  Oooooh, magic.

---

Dear Sauramud,

     I now, ye sed dat some madshishan should reed dis letterin firs befoar
I sent id to ye.  But de problem is, dey dunno lika me ennee more, cos dey
haf red de anser, ye rote in dat maggasin _Wizars Weekly News_ (My fren,
Slippy just borroud id from on off dem, wile he wos sleepin, and I haf
coppeed de tytel) to my rekvest.
     If I haf unnerstoud yer anser rite, dey should treet us fiters nyse,
but nod beecos dey like us, but beecos we ar goud sheelds.  I dunno think
dats nyse of ye tellin dem dat, maks us fiters look like dum animannals.
So if ye wanna show, ye can be a onorabble geye too, now pleaze tell ME wot
to do with de madshikwhosers so dat dey really treet me nyse again.  And if
ye dount anser me dis tyme again, I will tell al de world bout de thinks ye
did in yer younger dais - ders a dworf I now, hoo rememmers kwite well how
he had to bail ye out 47 yeers ago in de town of Imrimalys, just beecos ye
couldden leef yer hands of de majors dawter.

Innsistin Mussle


Dear Microcephalic Mussle,

     I am forced to agree with your admirable and, yes, cretinous
assessment of my answer to your previous letter.  You are quite correct
that I instructed the wizards to treat you kindly but I did NOT tell them
that they shouldn't like you.  I think that they _should_ like you, and
they should treat you with all the respect that they deem you worthy of.
I wouldn't take their actions or words too personally.  Just because they
treat you like you're irrelevant doesn't mean that they don't appreciate
having you up at the front of the party absorbing damage and springing
nasty traps.
     I think that all fighters should get more recognition for their noble
cause from the wizards in their party.  We should set aside three days out
of the year and declare them "Be-Nice-Within-Reason To Fighters Week".  In
my experience some fighters are almost sentient!

---

Dear Sauramud, whose wisdom would be as pearls before the other members of
my party,

     I have a slight problem:  kind of a mixture of lack of respect and a
nascent addiction.  Ever since I began my career as a wizard, I have been
hunting (with increasing desparation) for a cloak of displacement.  Now,
even the non-sentient dwarven fighters (a redundancy, I know) are beginning
to understand what it is I am looking for!!!
     One problem is, the other party members are constantly making fun of
me, always pretending that they have found one on an opponent, etc.  Life
was hell until a little while ago, when the gnomish illusionist left us
(under her own steam, I might add).  She was starting to get under my skin,
casting illusions that our opponents weren't where we were hitting them.
     The second is that the thief and the clerics understand that this item
would be great:  I am afraid that if we ever find one, I may not get it!!!
(I don't think that the dwarves understand how it could help them:  they
can't eat, drink, or kill it, so it has no place in their world vision).
     Finally, I feel compelled to try on every magical cloak I find:  this
has caused me no end of grief!  Who was the sicko who originally thought up
cloaks of poisonous?!?!  They've cost me two lives already; but, if I pass
up any magical cloak, I may lose my chance at a the one I want!  To make
matters worse, if what I try on is not a cloak of displacement, the dwarves
just laugh as they splatter me over the hall when they "test" the one I'm
wearing.
     What can I do?  I haven't ever found a cloak of displacement for sale,
I am getting sick and tired of getting hit by the dwarves, and I can't
master the manufacture of a cloak yet ...

Desparately seeking cloaks, Presteria.


     Dear DSC,

     Cloaks are fine to a point, but cloaks of displacement are over-rated
and hardly worth risking your life for.  You can never take off a cloak of
displacement once you put it on or you will never find it again.  I had one
once but the damn thing just kept getting lost.  Every time I took it off
(to swim, bathe, etc.) and went to retrieve it afterward it never seemed to
be quite where I left it!  It should have been called a 'Cloak of
Misplacement' for the number of times it went missing.  Even if it's in
plain sight, just try and grab it quick if you have to dress in a hurry -
whoops!  'Chop chop' go the orcish blades into your unprotected wizardly
flesh as you're flailing around trying to determine where _exactly_ that
blasted robe is!  Any wizard who is close enough to combat that he has to
rely on the protective properties of a cloak isn't using the fighters in
the party to his best advantage in any event.  I refer you to my upcoming
book "The Advantageous Placement of the Party Fighters (or Marching Order,
Fact or Fiction?)"

---

Dear Saramud,

     I have recently gained the ability to possibly practice the sort of
spellcraft used to summon demons and devils.  But, I need some advice here.
First of all, is it even worth it to try for such magic?  Is the thrill of
summoning your very own demon to serve you _really_ worth it?  It seems
somewhat suicidal - but the gains might be worth the risk.  Surely one so
exalted as yourself would know all about this topic.  What can you tell me?
Secondly, there seems to have been some great celestial power play which
erased the terms "demon" and "devil" from spell descriptions in all the
world's spellbooks...  Is it even possible anymore to summon one of the
horned guys, or not?  I seem to think that there _must_ be some tome out
there that contains the references and spells necessary to bring an evil
being to this plane - but WHERE in the @$&%#*!  is it?
     Any help would surely be appreciated.

Signed,
Not Long For This World


Dear NLFTW,

     Don't be fooled by the omission of the 'D' words from the spell
descriptions, you're summoning the same things with the spells regardless
of what the 'politically correct' name for them is.  The names were only
changed because the older descriptions of these - entities - tended to
discourage wizards from casting the spells.  I shouldn't think that anybody
would need any discouragement.  I have this personal guideline of never
summoning anything with more than 10x my total hit points (not that I can
remember the last time I ever made it to full points - everybody knows that
a simple paper cut will put most wizards at half damage!).  If you _really_
insist on summoning something from another plane then I recommend you try
reading the "Necro-you-know-what-icon" by that Abdul fellow.  If that
doesn't drive you insane or, at the very least dissuade you from such a
summoning then try reading "101 Recipes for an Ex Wizard" by Orcus.  As far
as I'm concerned, the only demons worth summoning are the ones which aren't
worth the risk to summon.

---

     Greetings, O Great Saramud,

     I am a writer originally from the Orient now trapped in the west
because of the mean tricks of a lesser demon.  I must say that I don't mind
it here as much as I used to, since some there are some comforts (such as
Wizard Columns, stupid fighters to boss around, and blond wenches).
However, I am encountering a pretty big problem, which brings me to the
reason for this parchment.  After I came, I joined up with a (semi)
respectable adventuring party that seemed alright, after all, it's easy to
get what you want when the majority of the party are fighters.  Of late,
these gajin are getting on my nerves.  You see I'm a fairly high level Wu
Jen/Ninja, and like to have some time to myself occasionally.  Earlier,
when I was assasinating a minor noble or some idiot courier, I coule slip
in and out in a matter of hours without anybody discovering my identity.
Unfortunenly, the whole group seems to be catching onto me.  It started
with the stupid little thief.  He noticed that our targets started dying
before he got a change to backstab them in the night (it was me, usually),
and got very jealous.  Then he went to the cleric who noticed that I was
advancing slowly.  Now, it seems that everybody knows (let a cleric in on a
secret and there goes the secret) that something's up with me.  For a while
I've been able to put them off with some Oriental mumbo-jumbo, but it's
only going to work for so long.  It would be a bother to have to kill them
all in their sleep, but I will do that if they seem to have found me out:
Their deaths before my dishonor.  So what should I do?

Arigato,

     Yushi Wakazi


Dear Yushi,

     "It would be a bother to have to kill them all in their sleep, but I
will do that if they seem to have found me out:  Their deaths before my
dishonor." Huh?  Afraid you lost me on this one sport.  Why would you have
to kill your friends just because they discovered that you are a much
higher level and that they are only so much doggie poop in your presence?
Where's the "honour" in killing your friends in their sleep?  Most wizards
would _kill_ (though it sounds like you are taking this quite literally) to
be in your position of power.  On another note, why are you knocking
yourself out and putting yourself at risk to kill your targets before the
rest of the party gets a shot at them?  That's just plain senseless and
stupid!  Those aren't the actions of a wizard, those are the actions of one
of those cheapo assassins that one can pick up for a few gold piece over on
the wrong side of town.  Wise up and listen to the way we do things over 
here: the fighters and pseudo-fighters (paladins, rangers, etc) stand up
front between you and all big ugly monsters, the clerics stand behind them
casting healing spells and stepping up to fill any holes in the line 
between you and all big ugly monsters, the thieves scurry around trying to
be useful by tossing a few daggers or slitting the throat of a downed 
foe until the big ugly monsters are dead and they are needed to clear the
traps and locks away from your treasure, and the occaisional monk flails
about uselessly offering comic relief and the ability to absorb a few shots
that might otherwise have gone in your direction.
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contributors of "letters to Sauramud" were:

James Smith <ENGJS@wombat.newcastle.edu.au>
andy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Andrew Hackard)
michaelm@mars.cse.fau.edu (Michael Marcus)
psikr01@convex.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de (Peter Kretschmar) [twice!]
VINCE@sscl.uwo.ca (Vincent Gray)
tmiller@prism.gatech.edu (Thomas Miller)
sjim@compass-da.com (Jim Shiffer)
The Independents - SUNY Buffalo <ZTSINDI@UBVMS.bitnet>

**************************************************************************
Sneaky end note: Wondering what all the inside references to "the monk"
"the paladin" and (sometimes) "the ranger" are?  Check out the "Dingbat
the Monk" stories at potemkin.cs.pdx.edu in /pub/frp/stories/dingbat and 
thrill to Sauramud's adventures... such as they are.
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